What Could Have Been
by moon12345
Summary: Marauders Era, Post Prank. very dark and angsty. be warned. "I had a talk with your friend, Mr. Potter, and he seemed to think you don't quite understand the full gravity of your actions." I wanted to snort at this, but I stayed silent. "So I am going to show you, Mr. Black, what could have been."


Wow, so long since I posted something here. I still been writing but not much lately. This idea came to me a few years ago and only now I had the time and energy to write it. Probably been done before, but I hope you still like it.

Worning\- it's very dark and angsty.

Also feeling the need to mention English isn't my first language.

Enjoy, and please Review if you liked it ( and also if you didn't and have comments)

 **What Could Have Been- Chapter 1**

I sat in front of Professor Dumbledore. It wasn't my first time at his office, I've been here quite a few times during my six years at Hogwarts. But never had he looked so disappointed in me.

"Well, Mr. Black," he said, and I hated the way he emphasized my last name, even if it was probably only in my imagination. "Are you ready for your detention?"

I had plenty of detentions in my life, usually with Filtch or Professor Mcgonagall, in my luckiest times with Hagrid. But I never had detention with the Headmaster.

I knew what I did was bad, James bothered to yell it at me at least a hundred times since the incident two weeks ago. All of those times were in the first two days. Since then, he didn't breathe a word to me.

It all started two weeks ago, at the night of the full moon.

"I just had the most brilliant idea for the greatest prank of all times!" I announced proudly to my two friends. We were in our dorm in Gryffindor tower, waiting for the right time to go join our friend Moony in the shrieking shack. It was a night of full moon, and as usual we were going to join our werewolf friend for the night.

At my words James' eyes lit up. He was always up for good pranks, that's why he and I became such close friends. I was really excited to share my latest idea with him, I waited for it all day long.

"What is it?" Prongs asked, eager to know.

"It's to do with Snivellus, obviously," I said.

James grinned, "Obviously."

"You know how he always sniffs around, spying on us, trying to find out Moony's secret and get us in trouble?"

"Yeah," Peter chipped in.

"So I'm going to have him find out," I grinned at them smugly. That was by far the greatest idea I ever had.

But their reaction wasn't what I was expecting. Peter looked confused, and James raised one eyebrow at me. "Why would we want him to find out?"

"So he will get scared! Just imagine it, his face coming face to face with Moony! I can bet he'll piss his pants!"

"That's stupid, Padfoot," said Prongs, and Peter nodded in agreement. "If he'll know Moony's secret he will tell the whole school, and Moony will be expelled."

"He's going to find out sooner or later," I said, "So why not beat him to the punch, get him a little scared of us, so he'll shut up?"

"Shut up?" said Peter. "He will not shut up about this. Unless he'll die, which is also a possible outcome of him coming face to face with a werewolf."

"So maybe we should wish for that outcome."

"What?!" James asked, shocked. "You'd rather have him die? By Moony? Are you crazy, Sirius?!"

"Well, that way he won't be able to tell anyone, and he will be out of our way for good!" I defended myself. I didn't intend for Moony to kill Snape, obviously, but maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. I couldn't understand why they didn't see it like I did. It could solve all of our problems with Snivellus.

"Sirius, mate," said Prongs slowly, "that's a stupid idea."

"And rather extreme and cruel," added Wormtail.

"Yeah, so let's agree to never let that happen," decided James, looking at me for agreement.

"Um… that might be a problem." I said, scratching the back of my head nervously. Now I knew they might not like what I'd done.

"What do you mean?"

"I kind of told Snivellus how to get past the Whomping Willow..."

There was a long moment of silence, while my two friends stared at me. At last James broke it. 

"You're joking, right?" he asked. "Is _this_ the prank? Making us think you did a really _really_ stupid thing?"

"Er, no, it's not a prank." I said. "Well, it is. A prank on Snape."

"Are… are you serious?"

I started to smile at the chance of the serious-Sirius pun, but James stopped me.

" _Don't_! I can't… I can't believe it! What is wrong with you, Sirius?!" he yelled at me angrily. "What the _hell_ were you thinking?!"

I was taken aback by the yelling. James never yelled at me like that before. "I- I just thought it would be funny to-"

"Funny?!" that made him even angrier.

Peter, who stayed quiet all through James' outburst, chose that moment to join back into the conversation. "You mean he's going to go down the tunnel and see Moony, right now?..." he stared at me with wide and scared eyes.

"I don't get why it makes you all worked up-" I tried to say, but James cut me off again.

"You better pray he didn't listen to you, and won't go down there!"

"He did," I said, smiling. My plan will work, Snivellus will get scared and stop annoying us and then they will see I was right. "I just saw him on the grounds through the window, on his way to the tree."

"WHAT?!" with one last murderous glare at me James left the room hurriedly. Peter's eyes were still wide, his expression a mixture of fear and shock. "I can't believe you did that."

He got up and followed James out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I didn't get their anger. It was only Snivellus. He was an annoying git who always spied on us and tried to interfere with our pranks. Why did Prongs and Wormtail care so much about what happened to him?

I was still sitting on my bed an hour later when James and Peter came back to the dorm. Both their robes were dirty, Peter shook from head to toe and James looked hunted. I tried to catch up his glare, but he avoided looking at me. That made me really mad.

"So, what, now you're mad at me?"

James looked at me then and I could see many mixed emotions in his eyes. Shock, fear, anger, and also disappointment.

"You don't even want to know what happened?" asked Peter.

"I don't care," I said stubbornly. "For all I care Moony could kill that stupid git."

Then James punched me, straight in the nose. I didn't see it coming, so I stumbled back into the bed in surprise. It hurt. I touched my face, shocked, and looked up at James. He looked furious.

"You sick bastared!" he yell at me again. "I can't believe you did that! I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong about you all those years! You're just like your family, Black!"

And with that he stormed out of the room again. I couldn't deny the hurt I felt by that statement. All my life I swore I wasn't anything like my family, and hearing James say otherwise was a blow to my face, much worse than the punch. But James was wrong. I wasn't like my family, was I? I didn't kill anyone, I just told Snape a simple true fact, that there is a way to go down the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow. Did that make me a murderer?...

James and Remus seemed to think it did.

Two days later I had the first (and last) confrontation with Remus. I couldn't bring myself to visit him in the Hospital Wing, so I only saw him when he got back to the dorm. He seemed to have a few new scars on his cheeks, and I guessed he had some more under his cloths.

"Hey, Remus," I said, when he entered the dorm.

Remus looked at me, his eyes wide. He sat heavily on his bad. "How can you just act as if nothing happened?!"

"Not you too," I said angrily. I was tired of being yelled at. I had that enough from James. "It was just a stupid prank, Remus, get over it."

"A PRANK?!" he yelled, starting to shake angrily. It was quite scary, I never seen Remus that mad before. "I could have killed him! Do you even realize that?"

"Yeah, too bad you didn't. The greasy git would have deserved it."

"I-" Remus started, but stopped. He shook his head. "Just like James said. I didn't want to believe him. You don't even care. You just used me, as a weapon in your vengeance against Snape. Does our friendship means anything to you? Do I mean anything to you?"

"What? Of course, Remus, what does that have to do with anything? Of course you mean something to me, you're my best friend."

"Doesn't seem like it," he said, shaking his head again. "Friends don't tell their friends' secrets to their worst enemy. Friends don't use their friends as a murderous weapon to kill someone they don't like. Friends don't act as if their friends' lives mean nothing!"

"Mr. Black?" Professor Dumbledore's voice got me back to reality.

"Yes," I answered him, "I'm ready."

Whatever this detention going to be, it will have to be better than being expelled. Which I didn't think I deserved, obviously, but my friends (former friends, since none of them talked to me for two weeks) seemed to think I did.

"I had a talk with your friend, Mr. Potter, and he seemed to think you don't quite understand the full gravity of your actions."

I wanted to snort at this, but I stayed silent.

"So I am going to show you, Mr. Black, what could have been."

I raised an eyebrow confusedly at the Headmaster. What could have been?

"What do you mean, Professor?" I asked.

But I didn't get an answer. Instead, Professor Dumbledore took out a small vial and handed it to me. It contained shining green liquid. A potion.

"Drink this, Mr. Black, and I can only hope you will understand."

I took the bottle from his hand, eyeing it warily. I didn't like potions that much, especially when I didn't know what they were, but I didn't really have much choice. I took a deep breath and braced myself for what might come. I drank the whole thing in one gulp, and the last thing I saw was Dumbledore's blue eyes, before everting turned dark.

When I opened my eyes again, I was sitting on my bed in the dorms. The room was empty. I was rather confused. Did I fall asleep in Dumbledore's office and brought back to the dorms?

But where were James, Remus and Peter? The last I remembered, they were getting ready for bed when I left for the detention.

I got up and examined the room. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. That was weird. At last my eyes fell on the open window, and I saw the moon shining in the dark sky. It was full.

So Dumbledore's potion got me back to the night of the full moon, apparently. For what? I wondered. To fix what I had done? Couldn't be, the moon was already up, Remus was already in the Shrieking Shack, I had already told Snape about the tunnel.

So what was I supposed to do here?

I remembered Dumbledore's words, _what could have been._

Dumbledore wanted to show me something here, in this particular night. I guessed the only thing left for me to do was to wait for James and Peter to get back to the dorm. Maybe try to explain myself better to James.

So I waited, and waited, but they didn't get back.

At last, I decided to go down to the grounds and see for myself what happened with them.

I put on a warm cloak and left the room. It took me about fifteen minutes to get out of the castle and into the cold night. I made my way to the Whomping Willow, and spotted Peter standing a few feet away from it.

"Peter?" I asked confusedly. Where was James?

Peter startled and turned around to look at me. His whole posture seemed fearful and shocked.

"S-Sirius…" he mumbled quietly. "James, he… he got in after Snape… he still hasn't gotten back."

"What?" I asked, alarmed. "He's still down there?" that didn't make sense. It took Peter and James much less time to get back to the dorm the first time.

"Y-yes…"

Something felt off. I could sense something bad was going to happen.

"I'm going down there," I said, and Peter's eyes widen.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "There's a… well, an angry w-werewolf down there."

"Don't be stupid, Wormtail, it's Moony. We've dealt with him so many times, even when he was angry."

I took a long brunch and pressed the knot at the base of the three.

"Coming with me?" I asked Peter, but he shook his head.

"R-rather not."

I turned into Padfoot and got down the tunnel. It was dark, but I could see better than with human eyes. I started to walk, my mind blank. I had no idea what I was going to find at the end of the tunnel, but whatever it'll be, I knew it had to be bad. I remembered Dumbledore's words, _what could have been_ … whatever it is, I reminded myself, it won't be real.

After a while, I couldn't tell how long it's been, I finally saw something. The first thing I saw was James. He was lying on his stomach, a few feet away from me. He had his eyes shut, with sheer pain written all over his face. His glasses were nowhere to be seen. He had bloodied claw marks on his left cheek, who looked quit fresh, and a red spot staining his shirt on his right shoulder. Maybe he had more wounds but those were the ones I could see.

I started to move towards him, to help, when suddenly I notices what was going on behind him.

Moony. Moony was there, right behind human James. And James was wounded.

Shit.

But Moony didn't move or tried to attack James any further.

Then I noticed the werewolf was looming over something. A black figure.

My blood ran cold.

Is was a human body.

If I didn't know already, I couldn't for the love of Merlin tell who it was. And not because it was dark, no. because the face was torn apart, nothing more than blood and torn skin. The once Hogwarts robes were torn to pieces, revealing the figure's thin bloodied chest.

Moony was lowering his teethes, tearing another piece of skin into its mouth.

I felt sick.

I had never seen something this disturbing in my life, and I had seen some pretty disturbing things, being raised in the Black family.

My legs began to shake when I tried to move forward. I had to do something, anything, to stop it! I couldn't let Moony do this, it was so wrong! Moony wasn't supposed to Kill… to eat… people. Moony was always so pure, and playful, and… and Remus.

Oh Merlin.

This was Remus in front of me, _eating_ Snape's lifeless body!

For a few long seconds I stood rooted to the spot, unable to move, and just stared at the horror scene that took place in front of me.

 _Isn't real…_ my mind tried to tell me, but it did not help. This was so vivid and scary and _real_.

I finally came to my senses when I heard James' cries of pain. He was still on his stomach, trying to crawl away from the monster.

No, no, I did not just think that about Moony. But it was hard not to, when he was right there, biting another person. It didn't matter who it was, not with all that blood. Not with the glowing satisfied yellow eyes.

Shaking my head and focusing my attention on James, the one I could still save, I forced my legs to move, and ran towards my friend. I licked his forehead to get his attention. Didn't want to bark and alert Moony.

James' eyes jerked open in surprise and fear. It took him a while to realize who I was, but when he did his whole body seemed to relax. Only for a bit, though, because when he tried to stand up he tensed and squeezed his eyes in pain again.

I acted purely on instincts at that point, my mind blocking any other thought or emotion. We had to get out of there, fast, before Moony lost interest in Snape and turn his attention on his other wounded prey. So I turned around, lowering my back to let James better access. He seemed to understand, and climbed forcefully on it. Once settled he wrapped his arms around me, hissing in pain, and I bolted.

The tunnel never seemed so long. I ran as fast as Padfoot's legs could carry the both of us, praying the wolf wasn't chasing us. I felt James getting heavier, and assumed he had passed out. Not good. He had to stay alive, I had to at least save him.

I kept running, when suddenly I heard a howl behind me. Moony. Shit!

I fastened my steps until at last, _finally_ , I saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Sirius! James!" I was never so happy hearing Peter's voice. "Oh, thank Merlin…"

Rolling James carefully off my back and onto the grass I finally changed back to my human form and let myself collapse on the ground as well.

"What happened?" Wormtail asked urgently, noticing James' bloodied clothes and face.

"Moony…" I said, still panting from the running. "He…He killed Snape."

"Oh." Peter let out a shuddered breath. "Oh, Merlin."

"Is James…" he asked, and I shook my head.

"He's alright, just fainted from the pain."

I lay there, closing my eyes, breathing hard and trying to wrap my mind about what just happened. Snape was dead. _Dead_. Because of my prank. For real.

 _Not real._

No, this wasn't really happening. It was just a vision. It must be just a vision. I didn't really got back to the past did I? That did not really happen, Snape wasn't really dead. It was just Dumbledore's way of trying to teach me a lesson.

Well, lesson learned. I couldn't erase the image of Snape's body from my memory now. It will haunt me forever. Thank you Headmaster, for that.

I hoped to open my eyes and find myself back at Dumbledore's office, but when I did I was still laying on the ground, the full moon shining above my head.

"S-Sirius…"

I heard Peter's frightened voice. I sighed, irritated.

" _What?_ " I barked at him, having to take out my frustration on someone.

Peter hesitated, before pointing his finger at James, who was still lay fainted between us.

"His s-shoulder… doesn't it look like a… a bite mark?"


End file.
